


A Stranger to Love

by Shadow15



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow15/pseuds/Shadow15
Summary: Squalo had never been able to work out why Xanxus had become more abusive with the passing of time, but it soon gets to the point where he finally ends things. But just because he got away from Xanxus physically doesn't mean the other still isn't inside his head, tearing his mind apart. It almost seems hopeless, but at the end of the day he isn't as unloved as Xanxus said. DS, 80S





	1. Chapter 1

When Dino Cavallone went to the front door to answer it after his doorbell rang through the house, he was expecting anything but to open the door and find his best friend standing on his doorstep, with a dazed expression and a large bruise that was unmistakably from someone’s palm forming on his cheek.  He swallowed back the hurt at seeing his friend like this and instead asked, “What happened to your face, Squalo?”

The addressed male blinked to clear the haze from his mind before he looked at the blond.  He cocked his head to the side as he absentmindedly lifted his hand to rub at his cheek before he looked away in shame and mumbled, “We had an argument…”

“Squalo…” Dino frowned.  He reached out and ghosted his fingertips against the bruise he could see forming beneath long, gloved fingers before he said in a quiet voice, “Arguments aren’t supposed to involve someone getting hit in the face, Squalo.  Did he hit you?”

The long-haired male’s gaze was unfocused as he pondered how to answer the question.  He could be honest and say yes, but he knew that would only make the older male pry into his business.  He could lie, but he knew the other was far from stupid and wouldn’t rest until he had been told the truth.  Or he could simply say something in the middle and hope his friend would leave well enough alone. 

…Who was he kidding?  Telling the truth was the only option he had that wouldn’t end with Dino demanding more answers from him than he would be willing to give. 

“Yes.” Squalo couldn’t take another look at the blond.  He knew why the older male was worried, and that it wasn’t normal to be struck by a partner, but he wasn’t used to feeling ashamed – especially of his own actions.  He didn’t like this feeling of not being able to face the one person who knew him best, the only one who he had ever really had in his whole life, and somewhere in the vulnerable part of him he had buried deep down as a teenager, he felt _scared;_ the possibility of abandonment played over and over in his mind, and fear of being alone he had worked so hard to hide was quickly working its way back into his mind.

Would Dino leave him for being so weak…?  That was the kind of thing he had feared ever since his parents had turned their backs on him…

“Squalo…” Always the empathetic one, Dino stepped back from his front door so that the smaller male could enter his home.  He waited until the other had done so before he shut the door and escorted his friend to the living room.  On the way, he asked, “How many times…?”

“First time.  Don’t worry about it.”

“Squalo, I _am_ worried!” Dino bit his lip as they walked into the living room and made their way to the couch located in the middle of the room before the entertainment system.  “He’s not supposed to be…!”

“I fuckin’ know!” Squalo sighed.  He took a deep breath as he tried to gather his thoughts; how was he supposed to explain to the other what he himself was struggling to comprehend.  “I just…  We usually just yell at each other…  But he hit me because I burnt his steak…”

“Don’t put up with that, Squalo; you don’t deserve that at all.  You’re twenty-two; you’re old enough to know that yourself without me having to tell you.”

“…”

“Why don’t you stay here for the night and think things over?”

Squalo shook his head.  “He hasn’t hit me before.  He probably won’t again.  It’ll be fine.  Anyway, I need to look after Bel tonight for Lussu; I’ve gotta go home.”

“Just bring him here; Lussuria isn’t going to mind that.” Dino sighed when his friend shook his head; how stubborn the younger could be…   

“It’s fuckin’ fine, Bucking Horse!  Leave it alone!” Squalo muttered something under his breath before he turned away to glare at the wall across from him as if it were the reason for his bad mood. 

Dino, who knew how short a temper the younger had, changed the subject; he knew now what was going on in his friend’s life, and if he kept pushing about it, Squalo was only going to get shitty with him, too.  Instead, he said in a gentle manner, “Why don’t we go and have lunch together, Squalo?  It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”

The long-haired male glanced at his wrist watch.  He made an annoyed grimace before he muttered, “Hurry the fuck up; I gotta get that brat from school in two hours.”

“We have plenty of time.  I’ll drive you.”

Dino listened politely to the other as Squalo cussed him out while the blond went to fetch his car keys.  He didn’t mind the other calling him all sorts of names, or acting as if it were Dino’s fault he was in a bad mood; Dino never had been very good at getting mad at the person he loved most, after all.

The only problem was, even after ten years, Dino didn’t think he would be telling the younger that, as a teenager, he had fallen hopelessly in love with someone he had come to terms with the idea may never love him back. 

**_~~XX~~_ **

Squalo was starting to get used to not seeing his boyfriend until he went to bed; back when they had still been teenagers, the older male hadn’t been as reclusive, but these days it seemed the only times he was reassured his boyfriend really did exist was when he turned off all the lights in the house and found Xanxus in bed, where he had been all day. 

“Voi!  Get your fuckin’ ass up!” Squalo grabbed the blankets from over his boyfriend and ripped them away so that he could actually see Xanxus and remember what he looked like these days.  “You gonna say somethin’ to me about hitting me earlier?!”

Xanxus cracked one eyelid open so that he could glare at the smaller male menacingly.  In a dangerous tone, he growled, “Yeah.  You don’t shut the fuck up and I’ll give you a matching one on your left side next.”

Squalo’s anger quickly diminished as it became replaced by hurt; he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he had decided to confront his lover over what had happened earlier, but now that he was thinking about it, if he had wanted an apology, he should have known better… 

It was rare for Squalo to give up like this.  He wasn’t one to be left without words, but it seemed that, at this moment, all he could do was close his mouth and slide silently into the bed next to Xanxus.  He grabbed the blankets from where he had dropped them on the ground and pulled them back over their bodies, and for the first time in their entire eight-year relationship, he had his back to the stronger male. 

“...” The hurt and defeat was clear in Squalo’s voice when he next muttered in an attempt to at least get _some_ positive attention from the man he loved.  “…I’ve already got Bel into bed; he should be asleep by now…”

“…”

“It’s the weekend tomorrow, so I was thinking the three of us could –“

“- Fuck up, shark trash!” Xanxus’ elbow was thrust backwards with so much force, Squalo was sure he felt his ribs crack when it collided with them.

Squalo let out a yelp of pain before he hit the other back in anger.  “You fuckin’ idiot!”

Xanxus didn’t retaliate; he instead closed his eyes again now that his lover had finally shut up.  Squalo, however, couldn’t fall asleep so easily; he was kept awake by the day’s events playing through his mind, and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered; was there a reason after all for him to have been thinking about if he still loved Xanxus or not…? 

Maybe, but still…  Squalo was sure, deep down, he _did_ still love his partner, even if he was no longer happy in their relationship.   


	2. Chapter 2

It had never been something out of the ordinary for Squalo to come around to Dino’s house so he could work in silence on paperwork.  Dino never had been sure why the younger did it, but he couldn’t say he minded; with Squalo sitting on the couch opposite him, it gave the blond ample opportunities to peek out at him from the corner of his eye and daydream happily.  Sometimes Squalo noticed, but most of the time Dino could get away with it.

Now wasn’t one of those times, though.

“The fuck are you staring at me for?” Squalo bristled in annoyance as he dropped his pen to the couch.  He tugged his jacket around himself in a self-conscious manner and fixed the older male with a glare. 

Dino chuckled.  “No reason.  I was just thinking.”

Squalo grunted.  He shrugged his shoulders before he looked back down at the paperwork on his lap.  It was when he craned his neck did Dino finally take notice of the bruises peeking out from behind the collar of the younger’s suit jacket.  Dino’s eyes widened.

“Squalo, what happened to your neck?”

The long-haired man flinched at the question.  His eyes darted side-to-side in panic before he muttered out, “Fell over at work…”

Dino didn’t buy it, and though he usually never pried into Squalo’s personal life if he were told the bare truth, he wasn’t going to stop now.  He stood up and moved to tower over his friend, and though Squalo yelled and tried to back away from the other, the blond still managed to pull the collar down and reveal bruises that were unmistakably from strangulation.  “Squalo…  Squalo, did Xanxus do this?!” 

“Fuck off!” It had been a long time since Squalo had yelled so loudly, but he couldn’t stop himself; he felt like a wild animal that had been trapped by hunters, and all he wanted right now was to be left alone.  “It’s from sex!  Okay?!  Leave me alone about it!”

“Squalo, he’s choked you hard enough to bruise you!  How can that be okay in _any_ circumstance?!” 

“Voi!  Get off my fuckin’ case, Bucking Horse!”

All of a sudden, Dino’s tone dropped.  “It’s not from sex, is it, Squalo?  He’s choked you for something else.”

“…” Squalo started to shake, not used to being confronted like this; as long as he answered his friends’ questions yes or no truthfully, they usually let it go and waited for Squalo to open up to them on his own – to have them not giving him that privilege this time…  Well, it was stressful… 

“Squalo…?” The blond reached out and ghosted his fingertips against the smaller male’s cheek. 

“…He _does_ choke me during sex…” Squalo looked anywhere but at Dino now.  “…Not last night, though…  Last night he choked me… because I didn’t cook his steak the way he wanted it…”

“Squalo…”

“He…  He doesn’t usually leave marks…  But I passed out last night because of it…  I couldn’t breathe… and I panicked…” Suddenly, Squalo’s anger returned to the surface.  “Voi!  Leave me alone!  I told ya what ya wanted to hear!  Now fuck off!”

Dino nodded; he knew just how much strength it must have taken Squalo to tell him just that, and he wasn’t going to exhaust his friend.  Instead, he said, “Squalo, are you going back to work tonight?”

“Nah…  I went home early today…  People kept staring at me…  I fuckin’ hated it…”

The blond sighed.  “Well, I’m going to the airport to pick up the boys if you wanted to come for a drive – you won’t have to go back home to _him_.”

“What boys?” Now that Dino had mentioned it, Squalo _did_ recall his friend mentioning something about a small group coming to stay with him...

“Tsuna and his friends.  I’m on leave now and I invited them here from Japan for a holiday.”

“I’ll come for a drive…  What are those brats like, anyway?  Didn’t you meet them when you went over there to teach for a while?”

“Yes, Squalo.  They’re really good kids, and I _know_ you’d really like Takeshi.”

“I don’t know…  I don’t really like kids that much…”

Dino chuckled.  “You like _Bel_.”

“Argh, that little brat likes _me_.”

“You wouldn’t be looking after him all the time if you didn’t like him.” Dino knew a bit of light teasing never bothered Squalo, and he was glad to see the other’s lips were twitching upwards into a ghost of a smile.  “I swear he spends more time with you than he does his own adoptive parent.”

“Voi…  Only because…  Fuck…” Squalo didn’t have a believable excuse to rebut those words, so he dropped his face and hid it behind his hand as he tried to hide the embarrassment he felt at knowing his friend was right; though he always kept up such a rough exterior, the little blond his friend had adopted had somehow wormed his way into his heart.

Dino laughed again.  “So maybe you _do_ like kids, Squalo.  Either way, you’re going to love Takeshi; I promise.  Give it a week and you’ll be hiding him from me so I can’t send him back to Japan.”

Squalo waved his hand dismissively.  “Like fuck, Bucking Horse.  Five-hundred euros says you’re wrong.”

“Eight-hundred and you fall in love with him.”

“Voi, I’m gay; not a fuckin’ pedo.” Squalo rolled his eyes.  “Anyway, help me with this shit, will ya?  I couldn’t focus on it at work and I’ve got a shit ton to do.”

“Sure.” Never minding when Squalo requested his help with the company, Dino took half of the paperwork waiting for inspection.  It paid off to have inherited his father’s company, even though he was a full-time teacher now; everything was always left on Squalo’s shoulders, and the younger would probably have imploded from the stress if the blond wasn’t there to help him. 

With that, the two fell into a comfortable silence as they got through Squalo’s work together, even if Dino couldn’t help but sneak peeks at his best friend whenever he could get away with it. 

**_~~XX~~_ **

The airport was bustling, and Squalo couldn’t help but become tense as he stuck close to Dino through the hordes of people.  They were early, the blond had said, and shouldn’t expect the plane to land for another twenty minutes, so they may as well get a coffee while they wait.

Despite it being so late at night, Squalo couldn’t help but remain stressed as they waited in the large queue for the coffee shop; why were there so many people wanting coffees when it was almost midnight? 

“Voi, Bucking Horse…” Squalo was quiet, especially when he felt someone brush against him.  “…I’m gonna wait outside for ya…”

Dino nodded in understanding; even when they had been teenagers, the younger male had never been good amongst crowds.  “I’ll bring it out to you.”

Squalo didn’t have to wait long for Dino to come back to him with two cups of coffee in hand; the blond hadn’t wasted any time getting back to his friend, and Squalo was thankful; he really _could_ use a coffee right about now…

“Thanks…” Squalo grabbed the paper cup with gloved hands so he could take a sip.

“You’re welcome.  Come on; their plane should get here as soon as we find the terminal.”

Squalo nodded.  He stood up so he could follow, and though neither of them said anything on the journey, they didn’t mind; they both were comfortable with just their thoughts. 

The long-haired man was the first to break the silence once they had sat down at the terminal.  “That bastard is going to start ringing me soon…”

“Don’t answer it, Squalo; you’re allowed to do what you want.” Dino shook his head.  “If he keeps ringing, give me the phone and I’ll talk to him.”

Squalo nodded.  He took another sip of his coffee before he looked over at the arrivals and departures list.  “They’re about to land.”

“Make sure you’re on your best behaviour, Squalo; they’re still only kids and aren’t used to people who are as loud as you.”

The younger male rolled his eyes.  “Asshole…”

“And don’t go calling them names, either.” With that said, Dino got to his feet as an announcement played over the speakers; the plane was landing, and he wanted to be right there for the group to find him before they got themselves lost. 

Squalo sulked as he followed his friend.  He said nothing as crowds of people walked past them to gather their luggage; he was too busy trying to ignore the phone vibrating in his pocket with an incoming call. 

“How was your flight?”

Squalo jumped at Dino’s voice; he had been so focused on his phone, he hadn’t even noticed the three teens approaching them.  He eyed them off warily, not trusting that Dino had good taste in friends; the blond had subjected himself to some real assholes over the years, and he couldn’t help but stress that his best friend was only going to keep getting himself treated so terribly by other people – but these three were just _kids…_   Right…?

“Guys, this is Squalo.”

Squalo winced as all eyes turned to him now.  He looked anywhere but at the three who were staring at him; he didn’t want introductions because he wanted only to be left alone with Dino.

“You’re Squalo?” 

It was the tallest of the trio who spoke, and his caramel eyes held an emotion within them that Squalo was used to seeing only in Dino’s eyes; it was kindness, the long-haired man knew, but still…  He didn’t know these kids, and he wasn’t going to trust them any time soon.

When he received a nod in response, the teen’s eyes lit up further and he eagerly introduced himself in Japanese.  Squalo couldn’t help but roll his eyes; trust his friend to bring back kids who couldn’t even speak their own language…  “I’m Yamamoto Takeshi.  Dino’s told us lots about you.  You like swords, don’t you?  I like them, too!  My pop taught me all about them.”

At these words, Squalo ignored the other two teens who had yet to say anything to him.  “You’d better be half-decent at swordplay or I’m going to ignore your existence.”

The silver-haired male who was standing by Takeshi’s side made an annoyed sound, but before he could say anything, Takeshi laughed.  “I’m pretty good!  I’ll have to show you some time.”

Squalo nodded.  He turned his attention back to Dino as he allowed his native language to roll easily off his tongue.  “That one’s okay.  Not sure about the other two though.  Are you – my phone won’t stop ringing…”

Dino bit his lip as he watched his friend pull his phone from his pocket.  He didn’t let the younger look at the caller ID before he held his hand out for the phone; they both knew who it was because no one else ever rang Squalo this late…

The blond answered the phone and put it to his ear the second it had been handed to him, and he spoke before the person on the other line could.  “Squalo is out with me and probably won’t be coming home tonight, Xanxus.  You know where he is now; you can stop calling him.”

If Dino wasn’t so polite, he might have ended the call then and there, but alas he waited for a response, and when he got it, he wasn’t happy.  “Tell that scum shark he has five minutes to get his ass back here so I can fuck it.  It’s _my_ property; not _yours,_ you shitty horse; he’s _mine_ to fuck so keep your filthy hands off it.”

Dino wasn’t a person who got angry easily, but even he narrowed his eyes and clenched the phone harder at these words.  His voice was still cool, but to Squalo who had known him for so long, the long-haired man could hear the anger underlying in his voice.  “Squalo is _not_ your property, Xanxus.  He’s allowed to be with me if he wants to be, and just because you’re afraid he’ll choose _me_ over _you_ does _not_ give you the right to dictate who he sees and what he does.  He is my friend, and if he ever _did_ choose me, well…  I think we _both_ know why that would be.”

The blond didn’t wait for a response; he ended the call and gave the phone back to his friend.  “Turn it off, Squalo; he’ll only continue ringing you.”

Squalo nodded.  He didn’t hesitate to do as told, and he was glad he had heeded the advice because, not even a moment later, Dino’s own phone started ringing relentlessly.  Dino remained calm as he did the same, and then he took a deep breath and returned his attention to the younger three who were watching curiously.

“I’m so sorry about that, boys.  Let’s go get your bags and then we’ll go back to my home.  Have you already eaten on the flight?”

The brunet was the one to reply.  “Not recently; we fell asleep when they brought dinner out.”

Dino’s smile widened.  “I’ll cook you all some real Italian food!  Ah, Squalo, this is Hayato and Tsuna, too.  Do you want to stay for some food?”

“He’ll kill me if I go home tomorrow…” Squalo shifted uneasily.

The older male shook his head.  “Squalo, he’s going to kill you even if you go back home _now_.  At least if you go back tomorrow, he’s got the night to simmer down.  Come on; I’ll make you tuna carpaccio.”

Squalo couldn’t deny an offer of his favourite food.  He sighed.  “Fine…  But if that bastard wants to take it out on me tomorrow, I’m sendin’ him after you instead…”

Dino chuckled.  “Okay, Squalo.”

The long-haired man’s shoulders were tense as he started to follow his friend through the airport, but he stopped as soon as he realised the teenager named Takeshi was staring at his neck.  He shuddered as he reached up to tug his collar higher around his bruised flesh.  “Voi…  Fuck off, will ya…?”

“They look like finger marks…  Did someone –“

“- Takeshi, come over here.” Dino, as always, was quick to rescue his best friend.  He held up his act of everything being perfectly fine, but inside he was in turmoil; Squalo was going to be so uncomfortable around the younger three now…  “We’re talking about sleeping arrangements.  Do you mind the three of you sharing a bedroom?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine, Dino.” Takeshi’s face lit up with a huge smile. 

The blond smiled.  He looked back over his shoulder at Squalo, not surprised to see that the smaller male had dropped back behind them and was looking as if he were in confusion.  He said nothing, though; if Squalo needed his own space, he could have it. 

After all, as much as he wished he could be, Dino had long-since come to terms with the fact that Squalo may _never_ love him the same way in return.   


	3. Chapter 3

When Squalo awoke the next morning, he found he had slept in  _much_ later than he usually would; the alarm clock beside him flashed ten-thirty-seven, but then again, maybe he had finally been able to catch up on some much-needed sleep since he wasn’t being woken at some ungodly hour of the morning with the pain of unprepared sex he hadn’t even been conscious to consent to. 

It was a blessing, now that he was thinking about it, to be able to lay in bed peacefully without shaking from pain and – dare he admit it – fear from the things his lover had been lavishing on him as of late.  He could lay under his blankets for as long as he wanted, and for now he didn’t have to fight back tears as he anticipated the next round of torture that would find its way to him before they had to leave for work.   

Squalo frowned as he dragged his hand down his chest and to his stomach.  His fingers twitched before they slowly slid beneath the pyjama top his friend had lent him, and without the gloves he was so very rarely seen without, he could make out the deep scarring by his hip he doubted would ever completely heal.  

He still didn’t know what had provoked it, what he could have done that day to have been awoken at four-o-three in the morning with a knife being dragged casually across his stomach.  He had been so good that day; he had done everything Xanxus had told him to, cooked the best steak yet, and even worked his ass off at the company.  Yet it hadn’t been enough because Xanxus  _still_ had stabbed and cut and  _beaten_  him so badly, Squalo hadn’t been let out of hospital for weeks.   

With a sigh, the man threw his blankets off him and swung his legs over the side of the mattress.  He grabbed his car keys from the bedside table and left the room, heading outside to his Mercedes parked neatly beside Dino’s own BMW.  He unlocked the car and ducked inside so he could grab his packet of cigarettes from the passenger seat, knowing he  _really_ needed a smoke.   

Squalo’s legs were almost shaking as he went back inside and into the living room to see where Dino was.  He felt nausea hit him as he found his friend and the three teenagers from last night all seated around the living room, calm and happy.  “Voi…  Bucking Horse, you got a lighter?  Mine’s at home.” 

“There’s one next to the stove, Squalo.” Dino, though he didn’t smoke, always kept some lighters on hand for moments like these; he knew how many smokes a day his friend went through, even though he didn’t encourage it.   

Squalo nodded.  He left to fetch the lighter and go out into the backyard, but one thing he hadn’t expected was for that damned Takeshi brat to follow him.  The man couldn’t say he didn’t like it; he had long since grown used to being followed around because his friend’s adoptive child never seemed to leave him alone.   

“What are you doing out here, brat?” Squalo sighed; what was with him and being some sort of parental figure to kids?  Did he  _look_ like the loving fatherly type?   

Takeshi’s smile never vanished.  “You just looked like you were lonely.  I wanted to come out and talk to you.  Dino said I’d really like you.” 

Squalo shrugged.  “I’m not much at all, Takeshi; just…  Just some trash…  Dino doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” 

“You’re not trash, Squalo.  I don’t even know you and I already like you.  I’m really interested in swords like you are; you have your own, don’t you?”   

“Yeah, I do.” 

“Could I see it one day?  I wanna see if you could beat my pops in a sword fight.”  

“You bet your fuckin’ ass I’d beat him.  You can’t come to my house because of my partner, but maybe I’ll bring my sword to the Bucking Horse’s and I’ll show you here.  I probably won’t be back for a few days because of work though.” Squalo didn’t want to admit that the reason he probably wasn’t going to be around was because after not coming home last night, Xanxus was going to give him the beating of his life.  “I’ve got to go home after I finish my next smoke; my partner will be wondering where I am.  I was supposed to be at work this morning.”  

Takeshi nodded.  “Bring your sword!  I’ll be really looking forward to it!” With that said, the teenager disappeared back into the house, leaving Squalo to begin trembling again; just what was waiting for him when he would get back home…? 

 ** _~~XX~~_**  

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop sleeping with  _him_?” When Xanxus’ voice was calm, it meant Squalo was in for a hell of a ride.  Just because he  _sounded_ calm didn’t mean he  _was_  calm; inside, the man was a raging mess and this was just the calm before the storm.   

“Voi!  I haven’t fucking slept with  _anyone,_ asshole!” Squalo dodged the wine bottle that had been thrown at his head.  He ignored the sound of it shattering against the wall behind him; if he were to take his attention from Xanxus even the slightest, it could mean the end of him.  “He’s my friend; nothing more!” 

Those words only unleashed the fury upon him.  In a split second, Xanxus was off the bed and was pinning his lover to the wall by his throat.  He leant in close and hissed, “I see the way he looks at you.  It’s like every damn time he’s around, he’s fucking you in his mind.  And you’re probably doing the same; imagining yourself being pinned down and fucked by the Bucking Horse, you fucking slut.” 

“Voi!  Asshole, I’m not a slut!  You’re the only one I’ve ever been with!”  

“Bullshit.  Every time I’m not around, you’re getting around town having your ass pounded like the whore you are.  You want me to treat you like a whore?  Do you, you slut?” 

“Xanxus, fuck off!” Squalo tried to get Xanxus away from him, but all it earned him was a punch to the jaw so hard, he was spitting up blood.  He winced as he felt his nose had also copped it and was now profusely bleeding onto his lips, but he had been silenced; he was actually  _scared_.   

Xanxus smirked.  “Now be a good little slut and get on the bed.  Don’t make me tell you twice.”  

Squalo trembled, but he did as he was told.  He bit back a sob as he laid face down onto the mattress and buried his face in amongst his pillows, just the way Xanxus liked.  Only one thing crossed his mind now; he would give  _anything_ to be with Dino right now, away from this torture and abuse.   

 ** _~~XX~~_**  

When Xanxus left to attend to the company hours later, Squalo finally found the strength to pull his phone from his jacket pocket, abandoned on the end of the bed.  He felt numb as he turned the device back on and searched through his contacts for one in particular.  He winced as he scrolled past Dino’s name, but he couldn’t bear for the older male to see him in this state; there was only one person he trusted to help him, and he could only hope that the other wasn’t at work. 

“Hello, hon~” 

Squalo let out a sigh of relief as his call was answered.  He tried as hard as he could to speak normally, but his voice kept breaking from pain.  “L-lussuria…  You’re working t-today… aren’t you…?”  

“I was supposed to be, but Bel-chan is ill.  Are you okay?” The other knew when something was wrong with Squalo, and he could tell just from the way his friend was talking that something bad had happened.   

“…It…” Squalo closed his eyes.  “…It happened again…” 

“Oh, sweetheart…” The man named Lussuria sighed sadly.  “We talk about this  _all_ the time, Squalo; you need to get away from him.  What has he done to you today?” 

“…” Squalo curled up into a ball; how was he supposed to admit the truth to anyone…? 

“Honey?” 

“…He raped me…” A single tear slipped past the long-haired man’s eyelid.  “He raped me, and…  There’s blood everywhere…  It fuckin’ hurts…  He…  He had a hammer…” 

“Did he hit you with the hammer?”  

“Everywhere…  It hurts, Lussu…” 

“I’m coming right over; Xanxus is at work because I was talking to him before I got Bel-chan from school.  He won’t be coming home until tonight.”  

“Thank fuck for that…” With that said, Squalo ended the call, knowing his friend would be here as soon as he could be.  While he waited, he may as well get some sleep.   

 


	4. Chapter 4

Dino didn’t know what he had been expecting when he walked into the hospital room he had been told by Lussuria that Squalo was occupying; just that, when he saw the bloodied bandages wrapped tightly around the younger’s body, he felt sick.  Not a word was spoken between he and Squalo as he moved to sit on the chair closest to the hospital bed; neither of them knew what to say.

It was Squalo who broke the silence, with a tired mumble.  “Lussu said he wouldn’t tell ya…”

The blond shook his head.  He could only imagine how much it must have pained their friend to have been the one to take Squalo to the hospital in the first place with how much his heart was breaking just _looking_ at the younger right now.  “Of course he told me; he said you were half-dead when he got there, and looking at you now, I can see he wasn’t exaggerating.”

The long-haired man said nothing; he just turned to stare out of the window at the car park beyond his hospital room; how afraid he was right now that his best friend was going to leave him… 

“You could have told me, you know…” As always, Dino was gentle.  He hated that Squalo still wouldn’t look at him, but he could understand; the smaller male was prideful, and it must be agony for him to be seen in this state.  “I know it’s hard for you, but I…  I think no less of you, Squalo.”

“…”

“…”

“…He said you would…  If you ever found out…  That’d you’d hate me and be disgusted in me…” Squalo slowly rolled onto his side so he could face his childhood best friend.  “I used to… defend you so much when we were younger…  Yell and scream about how you weren’t like that…  And that you were my friend, no matter what…”

“So what changed?”

Squalo shrugged.  “I guess once you get told somethin’ so many times, you just…  You start to believe it…  Instinct tells you it’s not true, but…  You can’t shut off your fucking mind for five minutes…  And even though you trust that it isn’t the truth, you can’t get it out of your head…  And it drives you fucking _mad_ …”

“Squalo, don’t go back to him.” Dino wasn’t one to plead, but he was about ready to take his friend’s hands in both of his and beg until he lost his voice.  “I was talking to Lussuria about this, and he’s going to get your stuff while Xanxus is at work.  You can stay with me or Lussuria or even Mammon, but _please_ , Squalo; _please_ get away from him.”

Fear flashed through Squalo’s grey orbs now.  He shook his head.  “I _can’t_ …!  Xanxus…  Xanxus will…!”

Dino bit his lip.  “Xanxus will what, Squalo?”

Whatever was going through the long-haired man’s mind right now, the blond wasn’t sure he wanted to know; he had never seen his friend fall into a panic attack before, but here the younger was, on the verge of hyperventilating.  Anger brewed deep down in his stomach; how could someone _do_ this to Squalo…? 

“…” Squalo trembled.  He had managed to steady his breathing, but his heart was still racing in his chest.  “…He’ll go after you all…  That’s why I never left…  He knows where everyone lives, Dino…”

“If we were scared of Xanxus, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, and Lussuria wouldn’t be going to get your things.  We know what Xanxus is like, Squalo, but we aren’t so selfish we’ll let you get hurt to save our own hides.  Everyone can look after themselves.”

“He’ll get Bel...  He’ll be the first one Xanxus goes after…”

“Squalo, Bel will be _fine_ ,” Dino reassured.  “No one’s going to get to that kid without _someone_ noticing because no one ever lets him out of their sight.  Just relax; don’t get yourself worked up.  You can come stay with me once you get out of here and everything will be _fine_.”

Squalo sighed.  He knew there was no point in arguing because no one was going to listen to him; none of them knew Xanxus like _he_ did, and as hard as he had _tried_ to warn them, no one believed him.  For the moment, it would be easier to just agree with Dino and he wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of arguing – but even though it was the easiest option _now_ didn’t mean he wasn’t going to regret it in the near future. 

**_~~XX~~_ **

Dino was known for smooth talking, so it was no surprise he had convinced the nurses to let him bring Squalo home that night.  The long-haired man hadn’t been happy, but feeling his phone vibrating constantly in his pocket was enough to silence him; at least he was safe from Xanxus for the moment… 

As hard as it had been for Dino to see him such a state, he had never felt as embarrassed and uncomfortable as he had when he was helped through the front door of Dino’s home and into the eyesight of the three teens gathered in the living room with playing cards between them all. 

“Squalo?”

The long-haired male winced at Takeshi’s voice.  He looked anywhere but at the younger, feeling too ill to be able to cope with it properly. “…”

“Dino-san, what happened?” Tsuna as well looked unsettled, none of the three having been told why Dino had so suddenly left the house in a rush.  “Did he get hit by a car?”

Squalo could have vomited at the question; had he been beaten so badly, it looked as if he had been ran over…?  Probably; his body certainly was aching as if an SUV had slammed into him…

“Yes, he did.”  Just as Squalo should have expected, Dino never missed a beat in helping keep him comfortable.  “It was a hit and run.  I’m going to go lay him down in bed so he can get some rest; let’s keep it quiet for tonight so he can sleep.”

The boys all nodded, and Squalo couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat; not until he had been escorted from the living room and into the spare bedroom that had unofficially became his own over the years.  He was silent as he was sat on the edge of the mattress, and it wasn’t until Dino fetched a pair of his own pyjamas did he finally speak again.

“You didn’t have to do that…” Squalo’s expression was downcast as he watched the way his friend was kneeling down to take his socks off. 

“What?  Get you pyjamas?” Dino was genuinely confused; had he upset Squalo somehow? 

“Nah…  Tell those brats a lie…  You could have just told them the truth…”

“I’m not going to be telling them the truth, Squalo; not yet, anyway.  As far as they’re going to know for now, you were run over and the driver never stopped.  They don’t need to know; not until you decide what to do.  You can stay here with me, Squalo.  You can have your own bedroom and anything you need, or you can stay with Lussuria or Mammon; Mammon knows, and she’s said you can stay with her if you need to.”

Squalo closed his eyes.  He flinched violently when he felt the hem of his pants being lowered; memories he didn’t want to think about flashed through his mind, and he knew his reaction had alerted his friend.  He swallowed thickly.  “It’s okay…  You can take them off…  But I can’t stay, Dino; this will be the first place Xanxus will look…”

“Xanxus doesn’t scare me.  I don’t care that he has guns, Squalo; he can shoot me if he wants to but I’m not letting him near you again.”

“You’re a fool…” Squalo was glum as he raised his arms into the air for his shirt to come off next.  “He’ll kill you, and it won’t be swift…”

Dino chuckled.  He put his hands on his friend’s shoulders and leant in close as he smiled sincerely.  “Then I guess it’d be in my best interests to invest in a bullet proof jacket, yeah?”

“Idiot…  Why would you risk your life for mine?  You should be leaving me to go back home so no one else gets involved…”

“You are my friend, and I love you so very much, Squalo.” _More than you’ll probably ever know._ “I would do anything for you, even if it means being a meat-shield for you.  Wouldn’t you do the same for me?”

“…”

Dino didn’t mind the silence; he instead focused on buttoning up the night shirt he had just put on Squalo.  “It’s okay; I know you’re in a bad place right now, but you really _are_ welcomed here.”

“…Thanks…”

Dino’s smile widened.  He pushed down on the younger’s shoulders to get Squalo to lay down so he could tuck him in tight.  “Turn your phone off for the night and let’s see what tomorrow brings.  Okay?  Goodnight.”

“…Night…”  The younger rolled onto his side so that his back was to the door.  He didn’t close his eyes as the light was turned off; he just stared at the wall he was against as his mind ran rampart.  What _would_ tomorrow bring…? 

 


End file.
